Vanessa ReeceOn Thursday I had a very sad day, i had to go to the funeral of a dear friend of mine, Vanessa Reece was a fellow internet marketer that I met in a chat group and over the years we got close and spoke every day. We worked on a lot of projects together and we would often have competitions on who could get the most Clickbank sales or who would make the most money in a product launch. It was all good friendly fum, I use to do a lot of her SEO for her and she would help me with the social media side of things. A pretty good team if you ask me.

Myself and Jane got to the Cubbington about an hour before the funeral started and we headed to the nearest pub as we both needed the loo and it was was clear that everybody in the pub was there for the funeral.

At about 12:45 we headed to the church and it was pretty hard not to get choked up, Vanessa was only 36 and so as to be expected it was a big turn out of young and old people. I tried to stay focused and I received a text message off another friend of mine who also knew Vanessa who gave me some encouragement to stay strong.

The funeral was hard for everybody there and especially for Vanessa’s son I did my very best to hold the tears back but i managed to be strong and because her son was not crying I was trying my best to not to either.

The ceremony was very nice and the vicar was quite a friendly chap and he tried his best to pick our spirits up, I am not very religious in anyway shape or form but I respect what other people believe in and Vanessa was pretty religious from what I could tell.

Vanessa’s cousin read a lovely speech and she struggled to hold back the tears and you could hear sobs throughout the church. Jane at this point was really squeezing my hand and I was just thinking that Vanessa was telling me to get a grip and that she is OK.

One of Vanessa’s sons friend played the guitar and sung a song which was a real tear jerker and it was brilliant rendition of an oasis song and Vanessa’s coffin was taken outside to the graveyard and I decided to not go to her graveside as I had done this before when my best friend died when I was 17 and I hated the sound the coffin made when the soil was landing on it. I also did not want to take up the space of a family member I thought that the family should have their time with Vanessa.

We headed to the wake which was only a few minutes away and I went straight to the bar and got a pint, I needed that beer desperately!! It was a little bit awkward at the wake because I had never met anybody before so I was trying to work out who was who and we soon worked out who Vanessa’s mum was and of course I knew who Vanessa’s son was so I said hello to him and that was very strange, what do yo say to a kid who has lost his mum?

We then went and found a seat and a lady soon came over to say hello and I realised it was the same lady that had phoned me to give me the bad news. She was very pleased I had made it up and that she said that Vanessa had often spoke about me to her. She asked me if I could get the videos that Vanessa had made off youtube and send them to her as they did not want to lose them.

I was then properly introduced to Vanessa’s mum which was very nice and we spoke a lot about how me and Vanessa met and some of our stories and what not. It was a bit of a breath of fresh air really talking to her mum and her mum knew all about me which was very nice also. I was also told that the pub that myself and Jane had had a drink in was the very pub that Vanessa was born in which was really nice.

We left soon after that as I was exhausted and we left just as her son’s friend started to play the same song on the guitar again which was very nice but you could see Vanessa’s mum getting choked up again.

It has been a tough few weeks, losing a friend and my health has also taken another tumble which is a big problem but I am working on my health and trying to get to the bottom of my problems.

A hard part to losing Vanessa is that she completely understood me and we would both chat about things and we both knew how the other felt. I have been finding it hard to sit in front of my computer and get much work done the last few weeks as this is when I would speak to Vanessa and so I have done a lot to reduce my time in front of the screen.

However, She would not want me feeling sorry for her and she most definitely wants me to continue my growth as not only a business but as a person so the later part of this week I redesigned this site and have made few new goals for me to work towards.

I am now confident that Vanessa will be watching over me pushing me harder and harder to reach my full potential.

Danny Cutts